When Emotional Growth Gets Stuck

When Emotional Growth Gets Stuck: Understanding Arrested Emotional Development

Emotions are part of God’s design, shaping how we relate to Him, ourselves, and others. But what happens when our emotional growth gets “stuck”? Many people, both teens and adults, wrestle with feelings and reactions that don’t match their age or maturity level. This is often referred to as **emotional immaturity** or **arrested emotional development**.

What Does It Mean to Be Stunted in Emotional Development?

In psychology, the phrase “arrested emotional development” describes a condition in which a person’s ability to process or regulate emotions is frozen at an earlier stage. For example, someone might be an adult outwardly, but respond to conflict with the fear, anger, or withdrawal of a child. This is often linked to trauma, neglect, or overwhelming experiences that disrupted healthy emotional growth.

The Science Behind It

When children experience trauma, whether abuse, neglect, or instability, the brain’s survival systems (the amygdala and stress responses) take over. Instead of learning to manage emotions in safe, healthy ways, the child adapts by “shutting down” or overreacting. Without healing, these patterns can follow into adulthood, leading to challenges in relationships, self-worth, and coping with stress. This is why some adults still struggle with emotional outbursts, avoidance, or unhealthy attachments that trace back to wounds from earlier in life.

A Biblical Perspective

Scripture acknowledges that brokenness in our past can affect us today. Proverbs 18:14 says, *“The human spirit can endure in sickness, but a crushed spirit who can bear?”* Emotional wounds, if left unattended, can hold us back from walking in maturity. Yet God’s heart is for healing and restoration. Psalm 147:3 reminds us, *“He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds.”*

Emotional immaturity isn’t just a psychological label; it’s a signal that there are **areas of the heart God wants to restore.** Through prayer, counseling, discipleship, and community, we can grow into emotional wholeness.

Steps Toward Healing and Growth

Self-Awareness – Acknowledge where your responses feel “younger” than your actual age.

Practice Emotional Regulation – Tools like deep breathing, journaling, and Scripture meditation help create space between feelings and reactions.

Walk in Community – Use relationships with safe, mature people to model and reinforce growth.

Invite God In – Pray honestly about your wounds. Healing starts with surrender.

Seek Wise Counsel – Professional therapy and Christian counseling can help reframe past trauma.

Being “stunted” emotionally does not mean you’re broken beyond repair. It simply means there are places where your soul still needs nurturing and healing. God is patient, loving, and able to bring you to full maturity, mind, body, and spirit. What trauma tried to freeze, God can