Violence Domesticated

Frozen in disbelief of the reality of us

crumbled into a stranger I’ve trusted my whole life

secrets of your hate spill into conversations filled with noise of abusive tones

of your expression of love; somehow filled with blood-

shed, droplets upon my face streaming liquid rivers of the years I’ve waited

for the potential of your greatness,

to reach the pedestal that I’ve placed the idea, of who I wanted you to be.

Pretty little lies I believed in my mind, it’ll never happen again;

but when my head hit the mirror, I see myself through my own eyes

but even they tell lies and whisper, “I’m okay”.

Who am I without the fantasy that I could make you love me the way I remember in every fairytale, molded my mind to project

an image of who you’d never become.

I can’t remember when we laughed without strain

or when I didn’t have to explain why I love you.

All I see is the pressure of your might, willing to fight with me, but not for me, you channel

exploding episodes of world wars, compacted into war zones,

homes disconnected from reaching aid,

I fade into the battle of my mind

pressed for a solution to smolder the rage,

but also to find an escape, I give the one thing you’ll take-

flesh; beat with violence, passion, satisfaction, and gratification

I wait for the hate but for now I’ll accept the grace of escape.